It's All About Timing

It's All About Timing

12/07/2012 02:50 pm ET Updated Feb 06, 2013
Sharon Greenthal Blogger, Empty Home Full Thoughts, Young Adults Knowledgeable,
Meeting the love of your life - first, second, third or extra - is a memorable and important day for most of us. I look again on the day I met my husband Peter and really feel two issues most of all - grateful and fortunate. As a result of what I imagine about finding the love of your life is this: It's all about timing.
I'm satisfied that, especially for males, an important thing about making a commitment to somebody just isn't how great the sex is (although that's actually essential), or how well-suited to each other he and a woman may be (though that matters too) or how madly in love he's (though love means so much).
It's my theory that one morning, a man rolls over, and whoever is lying subsequent to him in mattress, that's who he chooses to marry. It isn't a lot that he is found the suitable girl, it is that she's there at the right moment.
That is not to say males don't give this decision quite a lot of thought, and it does not imply that simply anybody might come along and fill the spot. It signifies that when males determine they are done with being single and they're ready to commit, they get married. For girls, I do not think it is that clear-cut. I think most women (not all) go into relationships optimistic that they'll quantity to... something. I think males take so much longer to feel that method...
Until one day they do.
I do not mean to sound unromantic or cynical. There have been hundreds of thousands of great romances that never resulted in marriage. I used to be in love a few occasions earlier than I met my husband and I used to be even married once earlier than. "Relationship" was my middle identify.
Sadly, most romances don't last. Maybe attributable to youth, or geography or religious differences. Maybe you wanted to commit, but he did not. Maybe he cheated on you and that was the top of that, or vice-versa. The purpose is, these relationships didn't end in marriage - they only ended. And that is ok... now. However again then, maybe your heart was broken - or possibly his was. And maybe a 12 months or two or 5 later, when someone requested you about a person who was an enormous a part of your life (a heartbreaker), you answered like this:
"It was just bad timing."
In Hebrew and Yiddish, there's a phrase I really like: " beshert ". It means your pre-destined soulmate. The one you have to be with without end. I'm not too positive this exists - but it surely sounds beautiful.
After I met Peter (who has doubts about my principle), I was 25, simply 4 months out of my transient first marriage, and I didn't wish to get entangled in a severe relationship. But he was ready. Four months after we met, he bought a rental and moved out of the home on the seashore that he had rented with buddies for years. He gave up watching women in thong bikinis curler-blading by each weekend for delight of house-possession. If ever there was someone ready to commit, it was him.
And then he got a dog.
And then I moved in. As a result of with his 14 hour workdays and graduate school two nights per week, who the heck was going to maintain the dog?
Yep, he was prepared. And I didn't want to lose him, so I was ready, too.
And sure, when he proposed, we had been in mattress - properly, I was. However that's one other story.
It's been 25 years because the day we met - November 14, 1987 - and I was lucky. He was lucky too. We nonetheless are. And now, after being with him for 25 years, married for 23, I can say it was "beshert."
And really good timing.
This week, the midlife girls bloggers of #GenFab are having a bloghop about how we met the loves of our lives. Click on right here to learn more stories. Or find us on twitter #GenFab.
Observe Sharon Greenthal on Twitter: /sharongreenthal
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